Bedtime for Defence families: a routine that travels
An exercise takes the member away with a return date that moves twice. A course runs the length of a term. A sea posting puts them somewhere with no signal for weeks. And a posting can move the whole family, or move the family after the member has already gone. Bedtime keeps happening through all of it. We cannot tell you how your unit runs; this is the bedtime part, and it is the part you can set up in an afternoon.
Six things that help.
Pick the thing that does not move
One short order, run the same way everywhere: teeth, a book, lights off, and the same last sentence from whoever is there. Keep it small enough to work in a half unpacked DHA place, a serviced apartment while you wait on housing, and a grandparent's spare room.
Bank the stories before they go
The most useful hour in the week before a departure is the member on the couch, reading books into a phone. A dozen titles, rotated, covers a long stretch, and a recording is the only part of bedtime that a comms blackout, a weather delay or a shifted flight cannot cancel.
Build around the window you actually get
Contact on exercise, on course or at sea arrives when it arrives, often at an odd hour and sometimes not at all. Take the window when it opens, even if it lands at 4.45pm on a Tuesday, and leave bath, teeth and bed exactly where they are. Where you get a choice, take the earlier one.
Give the call a job
How was school gets you a shrug in any time zone. A book hands both ends a script, which is what you want when the line is dropping, the child is tired, and neither of you has the energy to be interesting.
Keep the honest sentences ready
Write down the few things you are allowed to say and use those same words every night, so the answer never sounds like it is being worked out on the spot. Do not offer a homecoming date you are not certain of. A missed date costs a child more than not having one.
The parent holding the house has a 7pm too
Drop the standard on purpose rather than by accident, take the specific offers of help and let the vague ones go. For the parts a neighbour cannot fix, Defence Member and Family Support is where Defence families are pointed, and many schools with ADF enrolments have a Defence School Mentor worth asking your school office about.
The longer version, with the night one box, the sentences for when you cannot say where or when, and who to ring: Bedtime for Defence families, routines that survive a posting.
The same story, on both screens
StoryLink is an Australian app that puts the same storybook on both devices, so the person reading turns the page and the child sees it turn, live, from anywhere with a connection. Story calls, the library of more than 300 picture books and read to me narration are free. For the nights with no window at all, a book can be recorded in the member's own voice and played back at bedtime. StoryLink is on iPhone and iPad in Australia and New Zealand.
StoryLink is an independent Australian app. It has no affiliation with, and no endorsement from, the Department of Defence or the Australian Defence Force.
More reading: the long read for Defence families · StoryLink home · what StoryLink does · how we make the books · Bedtime when you work away · Bedtime across two homes · Reading to grandchildren who live far away
“Anchor bedtime to an order, not an address.”
You might be wondering.
What can we set up before the member goes away?
Two things, and both fit in an afternoon. Agree the shape of bedtime first: which nights are calls, which are recordings, and what happens when a call does not come. Then bank a stack of stories in the member's voice while you are still in the same room, named by book title so nobody is scrolling an unsorted list at 7.20pm.
The window we get is never at bedtime. Is a story still worth it?
Yes. Separate the call from lights out and take the window when it opens, even if that is late afternoon. Bath, teeth and bed stay exactly where they are. The story can sit anywhere in the day and still be the part your child holds on to.
Is StoryLink connected to the ADF or the Department of Defence?
No. StoryLink is an independent Australian app with no affiliation, endorsement or arrangement with the Department of Defence, the Australian Defence Force or any Defence organisation. Nothing on this page is official Defence advice.
Tonight, read together.
Free on the App Store · Australia and New Zealand