Bedtime when you work away: a FIFO parent's guide
Two weeks on. Sometimes four. And every night away, a bedtime happens without you. Australia has one of the world's largest fly-in fly-out workforces, and for most of those parents the hardest part isn't the roster or the camp food. It's the 7pm phone call where a tired three-year-old doesn't want to talk. Here's what actually helps.
Six things that help.
Pick a ritual, not a time
Camp shifts, showers and reception all conspire against a fixed hour. A ritual survives a moving clock: the same book, the same sign-off, the same silly voice. Kids anchor to the pattern far more than the minute.
Do something together, not just talk
A video call asks a small child to perform conversation, which is exactly what an exhausted toddler can't do. Give them a shared activity instead: a book you're both looking at, a puzzle, a drawing you're both adding to. Attention flows through the activity, and the awkward silences disappear.
Record ahead for the nights you'll miss
Reception drops, shifts run over, planes are late. A story recorded in your own voice, before you fly out, means the routine doesn't collapse when the call can't happen. Ask the parent at home to save it for the nights it's needed rather than every night.
Keep the at-home parent out of the middle
Try not to make bedtime a handover negotiation. Agree the shape of it before swing starts, which nights are calls, which are recordings, what happens if a call is missed, so nobody is improvising at 7pm with a tired child.
Let the small stuff be the content
Kids don't want a debrief on your day. They want to know you saw a lizard near the crib room. Small, concrete, repeatable details give them something to ask about tomorrow.
Plan the re-entry, not just the goodbye
The first 48 hours home are often the hardest. Children can be clingy, then furious, then fine. A predictable first-night-home ritual (same book, same order) gives them somewhere safe to land.
The same story, on both screens
StoryLink is an Australian app that puts the same storybook on both devices, so you turn the page and they see it, live, from anywhere. You can also record any book in your own voice for the nights a call isn't possible. It's free on the App Store in Australia and New Zealand.
More reading: StoryLink home · the blog · what StoryLink does · how we make the books · Reading to grandchildren who live far away · Bedtime across two homes
“A ritual survives a moving clock.”
You might be wondering.
How do I keep a bedtime routine when I'm on a FIFO swing?
Anchor the routine to a repeatable ritual rather than a fixed time: the same book, the same order, the same sign-off, so it survives shift changes and patchy reception. Where a live call isn't possible, a story recorded in your voice keeps the pattern unbroken.
My toddler won't talk on video calls. Is that normal?
Completely normal. Small children find open-ended conversation hard, especially when tired. Sharing an activity such as reading the same book or drawing together works far better than asking them to chat.
Is it better to call at the same time every night?
It helps, but consistency of ritual matters more than consistency of clock. A child who knows a story is coming copes better with it arriving at 6:40 one night and 7:20 the next.
Tonight, read together.
Free on the App Store · Australia and New Zealand